When your baby is 20.

September 17, 2004 was the last time I welcomed a newborn skin to skin with me. Twenty years ago was the last time I held a fresh, clammy newborn that was mine. Twenty years ago was the last time I fell asleep with a 6Lb 11 oz baby nestled up to me. Twenty years has grown a whole adult. Twenty years has brought such changes to the world we live in. Two decades have past since our baby boy entered the world and completed our family.

What I wouldn't give to snuggle this little dude one more time!

I’ve said many times how Landon has grown up with not just one Mommy, but 3 extras who have monitored his every move from day one. Natalie was only a few weeks into the start of her kindergarten year when Landon was born. Kassidy was sad because Natalie wasn’t home with her anymore, and Kourtney struggled because she wasn’t the baby anymore.

All of my kids were home with me until they started kindergarten. Partly because we lived 10 miles outside of town and the thought of hauling them to preschool seemed like an unnecessary stress to put on myself as a young mom of toddlers and a newborn. Also, I just didn’t want to share my kids with anyone. There was something very sweet about living in an old farmhouse secluded from the world. And as sweet as that was, it was equally lonely. MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group, church, Sunday school, Kindermusik, and play dates with friends filled our days. The girls all did dance, story hour at the library, we visited great-grandparents who lived up the road, and Steve kept our “farm” alive with every kind of animal imaginable. Not too many years ago, we visited the house we raised our kiddos in and the emotions swept over me. I have nothing but beautiful memories of that time in our lives.

Bringing Landon home made 4 kids in 6 years. It was a busy, busy time. I have said more than once, I thrived as a mom of “littles”. It is true when they say “little kids, little problems—big kids, bigger problems”. Finding my kids buck naked covered in mud or tossing chickens up in the air to see if they could fly were the little problems of those days. Fast forward to decisions of where to go to college, what to major in, where to work in the summer time and where to live now fill our days.

When Natalie turned 25 last year, I was surprised by how emotional that day was for me. It could have been that I was turning 50 the same day? I am finding that saying good-bye to the teenage years is also somewhat emotional for me. It is going to be super weird to say “my youngest is 20”. But it is also super awesome to say “my youngest is 20.”

You hold your newborn and wonder—what will he or she be like in 20 years? I can tell you, it goes so much faster than you can even imagine. It is true what they say. Embrace the sweet moments with your babies. Tomorrow I will wake up and remember that Friday morning twenty years ago at 8:08 am when Steve and I were given the surprise of our lives after believing we would have a family of girls. Landon Nathaniel brought us such joy and a dream come true for Steve to have a son to raise. Tomorrow morning, I will thank God for giving me the gift of celebrating that my baby is 20.